I am an American Soldier
I fight for freedom each day
To preserve the freedoms we live in
That's the American way
My father fought for this country
And my Fathers Father served this land
When their country called they answered
Willing to lend a helping hand
Some will stand beside us
Some will protest our war
Nevertheless we shall continue
To keep oppresion from our hallowed shores
How can one protest what we do?
When lives are sacrificed for freedoms sake
It's the life we Soldiers choose to live
If we die our souls are Gods to take
How can one protest what we stand for?
When liberty's bell still continues to toll
And you can voice thoughts without consequence
While shouting from your soapbox so bold
How can one protest our actions?
While we put our lives on the line
And you stand in the realm of safety
Listening to Hollywood stars bitch, moan and whine
Don't feel sorry for us
This is what we have chosen to do
To fight for honor and freedom
Under the colors of the Red, White and blue
For You!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
A Poem That Touched ME
A small and precious child
My Dad's been sent to fight
The only place I'll see his face
Is in my dreams at night
He will be gone too many days
For my young mind to keep track
I may be sad but I am proud
My Daddy's got yout back
I am a caring mother
My son has gone to war
My mind is full of worries
I have never known before
Everyday I try to keep
My thoughts from turning black
I may be scared, but I am proud
My son has got your back
I am a strong and loving wife
My husband too soon to go
There are many times I am terrified
In a way most will never know
I bite my lip and force a smile
As I watch my husband pack
My heart may break but I am proud
My husbands got your back
I am a Soldier (Marine, Airman, Sailor)
Serving proudly, Standing Tall
I fight for freedom, Yours and mine
By Answering this call
I do my job while knowing
The thanks it sometimes lacks
Say a prayer that I'll come ome
It's ME whose got your back
My Dad's been sent to fight
The only place I'll see his face
Is in my dreams at night
He will be gone too many days
For my young mind to keep track
I may be sad but I am proud
My Daddy's got yout back
I am a caring mother
My son has gone to war
My mind is full of worries
I have never known before
Everyday I try to keep
My thoughts from turning black
I may be scared, but I am proud
My son has got your back
I am a strong and loving wife
My husband too soon to go
There are many times I am terrified
In a way most will never know
I bite my lip and force a smile
As I watch my husband pack
My heart may break but I am proud
My husbands got your back
I am a Soldier (Marine, Airman, Sailor)
Serving proudly, Standing Tall
I fight for freedom, Yours and mine
By Answering this call
I do my job while knowing
The thanks it sometimes lacks
Say a prayer that I'll come ome
It's ME whose got your back
I read this poem tonight. It touched me.
I hope it touches you too......
Monday, October 20, 2008
OK been away from home for 18 days
It seems like it has been 18 months. Our days are filled with "Army Training". We do have some free time but since we are over a thousand miles from home, over 50 miles from civilization in the Texas/New Mexico desert we can't go any where. Even though AAFES is supposed to be here to support the troops the small shopette we have charges $11.50 for a case of water and 2.00 for a small bottle of Gatorade, just a few examples of gouging there. the nights we do have down time. Honestly that is the hardest part of the day. That is the time that you can slow down and realize how far from home you are. How long it is going to be until you see you loved ones again. The fact that the sexy woman I am used to sleeping next to is in an empty bed far away as I lay down in my empty bunk as well. The fact that every night before bed I went in to each of the kids rooms and just looked at them sleep. How peaceful their faces were, even the teenager when she slept looked like my baby girl that it still seems like only yesterday she was born and she is soon to be 15. Far from a baby. My blue eyed beautiful little girl that is growing up so fast these days, this summer at camp she had her first dance with a boy that will still tease her about being her boyfriend. Then there is the Monster, he turns 6 in a few months. Mamalang tells me he is already showing signs of maturity. I have coached him in soccer for a few seasons now. He has always showed promise that when he really wanted to play well he was going to be very good. The little turd decided now would be a good time. Finally scored his first goal and I was no where near to see it.
I have been away from home a few times, the longest time was 5 months but was able to visit home then a few times in that 5 months. This is the first time I am going to be away for as long as I am. It may be easier when my days are so full there is no time to catch my breath. That is only because I wont have the time to think of them when ever I see something. I have seen lizards, coyotes, road runners, rattle snakes, hawks and the most beautiful sun rises and sun sets in the mountains that make me think of my family and what each of them would like about it. One might run, another would pick up and play with, one would actually watch the sun while another might keep talking about wanting to climb the mountains.
I am glad they are all coping well with me being gone. I had hoped so and so far my hopes are coming true.
I miss my family, I miss my toys, I miss my bed, I miss beer. The biggest thing I miss most of all is the feeling of my wife's arms around me, the smell of her skin fresh out of a shower, the warmth of her body against mine, her voice telling me it is all going to be alright. She is my rock, the center of my world, the reason I keep going every day. She is my wife, but she is so much more.
My Friend
My Lover
My Confidant
My Memory
My Strength
My Soul
She is the best part of me, I thank god every day for her, for him blessing me by bringing her into my life. I love you
I have been away from home a few times, the longest time was 5 months but was able to visit home then a few times in that 5 months. This is the first time I am going to be away for as long as I am. It may be easier when my days are so full there is no time to catch my breath. That is only because I wont have the time to think of them when ever I see something. I have seen lizards, coyotes, road runners, rattle snakes, hawks and the most beautiful sun rises and sun sets in the mountains that make me think of my family and what each of them would like about it. One might run, another would pick up and play with, one would actually watch the sun while another might keep talking about wanting to climb the mountains.
I am glad they are all coping well with me being gone. I had hoped so and so far my hopes are coming true.
I miss my family, I miss my toys, I miss my bed, I miss beer. The biggest thing I miss most of all is the feeling of my wife's arms around me, the smell of her skin fresh out of a shower, the warmth of her body against mine, her voice telling me it is all going to be alright. She is my rock, the center of my world, the reason I keep going every day. She is my wife, but she is so much more.
My Friend
My Lover
My Confidant
My Memory
My Strength
My Soul
She is the best part of me, I thank god every day for her, for him blessing me by bringing her into my life. I love you
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Life is NEVER easy
I have said before that my work is sending me on an extended trip.
I have 3 children that are each taking it in their own ways.
Bug 14 about to turn 15 next month and going on 30 in her own mind. She is mine with my ex for this blog we shall call her PITA. Let me start by saying that Bug has lived full time with Mamalang and I for the last 8 years. I took PITA to court and won custody I got all I asked for, joint custody primary placement with me. I did NOT ask for child support and over the years that is exactly what I have gotten from PITA. Bug came back from PITA's house this August saying that she wanted to go live with her mother while I am deployed. We spoke to her telling her that the school here is better (which it is), that she is already established here, her friends are here, here sister and brother are here. She seemed fine with it and went on with school and life. A few days ago PITA called and told me that as soon as I left she was going to come and get Bug and take her while I am deployed. I spoke to Bug and she said she still wanted to live with her mom but was fine staying here as well. I went and spoke to a lawyer and found out that she could do exactly as she said she was going to do. The Soldiers and Sailor's relief act that protects personnel in the Military when deployed does not cover this for the most part. The only protection I have is that she has to bring her back when I return. That is fine for her, but it doesn't do much for my other children when she leaves shortly after I do. She doesn't care how this effects the rest of my family. How this effects me while I am trying to take care of my family. How this feels to Mamalang after she has been much more of a mother to Bug for the last 8 years than her own has. I know she must feel betrayed, abandoned and insulted. Princess and Monster are going to feel abandoned as well. First Daddy leaves for a year and now Big Sissy runs to the mysterious woman they know she visits during the summer the whole time Daddy is gone as well. Bug is just ecstatic, she gets to go live with the mother that rarely gives her the time of day when she visits, how is she going to fell when her mother ignores her for an entire year. More on this later.
Princess Bear... She is already having sleeping problems, stomach problems, and on top of all that is dealing with having Lyme's disease at the same time. She is still doing well at school at least and is up beat during the day. It is only at bed time that she has problems.
Monster... Ahhh "The Boy" as I call him most of the time. He is peacefully oblivious at the moment. The life of a 5 year old boy is simple, I want food, I want to play, I will hold myself every chance I get ( and yeas I mean "there"), I do NOT want to sleep and will do so only when I absolutely crash from exhaustion. He will notice when I am gone but he will adjust quick. When I went away last time I web cammed home enough that he thought I lived in the computer.
I am trying to keep it all together. I am trying to get all my honey do list done, tie up loose ends around the house. Spend one on one time with all of them. Get myself packed and mentally ready. One of my day job responsibilities is making sure that all the people in my unit are ready to go as well. It is strange to think but I am really ready to actually be in the sand box so I stop getting these curves balls thrown at me by life.
I just want my family to be together helping each other and working together until I get home. Is that really too much to ask?
OK I think I am going to end this small book and go cuddle in bed with Mamalang. I only have 12 more days to do that for a while....
I have 3 children that are each taking it in their own ways.
Bug 14 about to turn 15 next month and going on 30 in her own mind. She is mine with my ex for this blog we shall call her PITA. Let me start by saying that Bug has lived full time with Mamalang and I for the last 8 years. I took PITA to court and won custody I got all I asked for, joint custody primary placement with me. I did NOT ask for child support and over the years that is exactly what I have gotten from PITA. Bug came back from PITA's house this August saying that she wanted to go live with her mother while I am deployed. We spoke to her telling her that the school here is better (which it is), that she is already established here, her friends are here, here sister and brother are here. She seemed fine with it and went on with school and life. A few days ago PITA called and told me that as soon as I left she was going to come and get Bug and take her while I am deployed. I spoke to Bug and she said she still wanted to live with her mom but was fine staying here as well. I went and spoke to a lawyer and found out that she could do exactly as she said she was going to do. The Soldiers and Sailor's relief act that protects personnel in the Military when deployed does not cover this for the most part. The only protection I have is that she has to bring her back when I return. That is fine for her, but it doesn't do much for my other children when she leaves shortly after I do. She doesn't care how this effects the rest of my family. How this effects me while I am trying to take care of my family. How this feels to Mamalang after she has been much more of a mother to Bug for the last 8 years than her own has. I know she must feel betrayed, abandoned and insulted. Princess and Monster are going to feel abandoned as well. First Daddy leaves for a year and now Big Sissy runs to the mysterious woman they know she visits during the summer the whole time Daddy is gone as well. Bug is just ecstatic, she gets to go live with the mother that rarely gives her the time of day when she visits, how is she going to fell when her mother ignores her for an entire year. More on this later.
Princess Bear... She is already having sleeping problems, stomach problems, and on top of all that is dealing with having Lyme's disease at the same time. She is still doing well at school at least and is up beat during the day. It is only at bed time that she has problems.
Monster... Ahhh "The Boy" as I call him most of the time. He is peacefully oblivious at the moment. The life of a 5 year old boy is simple, I want food, I want to play, I will hold myself every chance I get ( and yeas I mean "there"), I do NOT want to sleep and will do so only when I absolutely crash from exhaustion. He will notice when I am gone but he will adjust quick. When I went away last time I web cammed home enough that he thought I lived in the computer.
I am trying to keep it all together. I am trying to get all my honey do list done, tie up loose ends around the house. Spend one on one time with all of them. Get myself packed and mentally ready. One of my day job responsibilities is making sure that all the people in my unit are ready to go as well. It is strange to think but I am really ready to actually be in the sand box so I stop getting these curves balls thrown at me by life.
I just want my family to be together helping each other and working together until I get home. Is that really too much to ask?
OK I think I am going to end this small book and go cuddle in bed with Mamalang. I only have 12 more days to do that for a while....
Monday, September 15, 2008
Kids bathroom
OK we are not afraid to pt color on the walls of our house. In the kids rooms we have colors named "Atomic Vomit", "Bikini Bottom Blue", "Building Block Blue", "Princess Pink" in our Kitchen we have "Harvest Orange" our bedroom is two shades of blue. A few weekends ago Mamalang painted the kids bathroom Bright Yellow, talk about a way to wake the kids up in the morning! While putting everything back into the bathroom we decided to embrace the rubber ducks the kids have and love. Rubber duckie, shower curtain stays, Rubber duck towel holder on the wall (including kewl water painted under it by Mamalang) so the shelf/cabinet of fake wood just didn't match anymore. Mamalang asked if I could make a shelf to go in there. I went in and looked and told her YUP! Out to "Man Land" I went, otherwise known as our garage. I had made a hutch for PB's craft desk in the basement and it kind of looked like the sail of a boat so I knew what I was going to build. I built a sail boat, the hull is storage for plastic bins ML bought that holds the girls hair ties/scrunchies/clips/STUFF. The sail is shelving for hair care products. Some of the kids rubber ducks went on for decoration. Not bad for a project that actually I got done in 2 days 3 days if you include the painting ML did. Everyone that sees it thinks it cute and the kids love it.
Honey Do List
I have quite a few things on my Honey-Do-List from Mamalang. I have finally gotten one of them off. I have been working on a Computer desk/Armour since I think January or February. I would work hard and then take some time off and then work hard again. My deployment date is getting quite close so I figured it was time to get it done. I can say that after almost 10 months it is complete and in the house ready for her to overfill it with stuff. I say her cause I am not going to be here to help. Above are pics of it still in the garage. I am pretty proud of it. Is it perfect? NOPE! Does Mamalang like it? YUP! That is all that matters. I can say all I bought was plywood, 4 hinges, 4 magnetic door holders, door hardware and drawer hardware. Everything else I made, doors (including the chalkboard paint on the backs) Drawers (including the slides for the bottom file folder drawer. I learned how to work with wood in High school...more than a few years ago. I have always enjoyed doing it. I have made a few other projects but those are for blogs for other days.
Monday, August 11, 2008
OK so maybe I am not ready for this...
I have wanted to deploy for so long and like the old saying goes..."Be careful what you ask for you just may get it". I am set to deploy October this year. It will be a month at mobilization station for a spat of training and then to the sandbox for ??? I thought I was ready for this mentally and physically. OK I got 1 out of 2. I am still physically prepared for this, mentally??? HELL NO! Talking about leaving your family for a year is one thing, planning for it still not so bad, but when it gets closer to time to actually go... That's hard as hell!
I mean, getting the paperwork so Mama Lang can be ready is fairly easy. Getting the house, car, Jeep, Boat, Motorcycle, lawn mower, heat/AC, and anything else that may break while I am gone is a bitch.
Mama Lang.. She is tops on my list of priorities to spend quality time alone with. She is my better half, my rock, my grounding. I rely on his for soooo many things. I can not fathom what it is going to be like not to hold her in my arms at night to make every bad in life to go away. I will be able to call, write, web cam, but NOTHING can compare to the felling of her in my arms and my arms around her.
At the same time I want to spend time with the kids.
The kids.... I love them I look forward to seeing them everyday even when I want to throw the teenager out the window. I will miss seeing their faces after they have learned some new and exciting at school that day. Monster starts school this year, I am going to take him to school his first day but I am going to miss all but a month of his first year in school. That really makes me sad. I am going to miss Bug's 10th grade and PB's 5th grade years. I was not into projects when I went to school but I really get into helping the kids with theirs now. I will get to chat with the kids via web cam, we have done this before but not for a year, not from so far away. I will miss them more than I could convey in words in the blog.
My mom and sister... (OK I can skip time with my bro in law he is a BUM and an idiot) are important to spend time with as well considering how close it has been to losing them both over the past few years. I will miss them but keep in contact with them as much as I can.
My sperm donor... He just had a heart attack and then had open heart surgery for a triple bypass and had his carotid artery cleaned out as well but I am really not inclined to spend a weekend to go see him, it would be nice but it is not something worth missing time with Mama and the kids. This may seem callous or insensitive but this is my blog and those are my feelings.
My home... Mama Lang and I waited a long time to buy our first house and we picked a winner. I will miss it from my man land (the garage & shed) to her craft area that I enjoy almost as much as she does. I know I will dream of taking a nap in the cool Autumn or Spring air in my hammock in the front yard under the cherry tree. Especially in the spring when it is covered in beautiful pink blossoms, when they fall off it looks like it have snowed pink!
My toys... The motorcycle, boat, tools. OK really I am going to miss these. I truly enjoy all of them. It is therapeutic to use/play with any of them...not as good as a hug from Mama of a group wresting match with the kids.
I am ready to go, I am just not ready to leave...
I mean, getting the paperwork so Mama Lang can be ready is fairly easy. Getting the house, car, Jeep, Boat, Motorcycle, lawn mower, heat/AC, and anything else that may break while I am gone is a bitch.
Mama Lang.. She is tops on my list of priorities to spend quality time alone with. She is my better half, my rock, my grounding. I rely on his for soooo many things. I can not fathom what it is going to be like not to hold her in my arms at night to make every bad in life to go away. I will be able to call, write, web cam, but NOTHING can compare to the felling of her in my arms and my arms around her.
At the same time I want to spend time with the kids.
The kids.... I love them I look forward to seeing them everyday even when I want to throw the teenager out the window. I will miss seeing their faces after they have learned some new and exciting at school that day. Monster starts school this year, I am going to take him to school his first day but I am going to miss all but a month of his first year in school. That really makes me sad. I am going to miss Bug's 10th grade and PB's 5th grade years. I was not into projects when I went to school but I really get into helping the kids with theirs now. I will get to chat with the kids via web cam, we have done this before but not for a year, not from so far away. I will miss them more than I could convey in words in the blog.
My mom and sister... (OK I can skip time with my bro in law he is a BUM and an idiot) are important to spend time with as well considering how close it has been to losing them both over the past few years. I will miss them but keep in contact with them as much as I can.
My sperm donor... He just had a heart attack and then had open heart surgery for a triple bypass and had his carotid artery cleaned out as well but I am really not inclined to spend a weekend to go see him, it would be nice but it is not something worth missing time with Mama and the kids. This may seem callous or insensitive but this is my blog and those are my feelings.
My home... Mama Lang and I waited a long time to buy our first house and we picked a winner. I will miss it from my man land (the garage & shed) to her craft area that I enjoy almost as much as she does. I know I will dream of taking a nap in the cool Autumn or Spring air in my hammock in the front yard under the cherry tree. Especially in the spring when it is covered in beautiful pink blossoms, when they fall off it looks like it have snowed pink!
My toys... The motorcycle, boat, tools. OK really I am going to miss these. I truly enjoy all of them. It is therapeutic to use/play with any of them...not as good as a hug from Mama of a group wresting match with the kids.
I am ready to go, I am just not ready to leave...
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